I never wrote this, it was from a website I am on:

When I arrived at work yesterday I noticed one of my crew on the side of the building talking to a young lady. I thought nothing of it as it was still about 15 minutes before the shift started and honestly, the kid needs all the help he can get when it comes to social interaction.

When the shift started it dawned on me he hadn't shown up yet, but I let it ride, assuming he'd be in within the next minute or two; I try not to be too worked up about people showing up a few moments late.

Later on the personnel supervisor stopped in and poked his head in my office. "Why is Matt outside; is he off shift?" I glance at the clock; he's 40 minutes late and I know he's wearing a watch.

So I told the supervisor that the little runt knows when he's supposed to be at work and knows what time it is, and as I'm not his babysitter, he can come in when he's ready and deal with the consequences. Supervisor agrees and goes about his business. After about 10 minutes Matt finally comes in.

Supervisor: "You're late, almost an hour late."

Matt: "Sorry, I was a few blocks away getting some lunch and lost track of time."

S: "How could you be down the street when everyone knows you were standing on the side of the building talking to some girl?"

M: "Oh. Sorry. But I wasn't technically late."

S: "What do you mean?"

M: "Well, my bike was here when the shift started."

S: "What?"

M: "Yeah, at 2:30 my bike was already here, so I wasn't actually late, technically."

S: . . .

M: "So just dock me for the hour."

S: "Oh, you're docked, all right -- docked your job. Come pick up your last check tomorrow."

The moral of this story is that I'm just going to leave my car at work for the rest of the week and stay home. Hey, my car's there, right? So technically, I'm not failing to show up.